just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
