What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
