Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
