Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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