Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
