so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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