I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm both gender and math confused
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
