Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
