if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
