Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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