i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
