Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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