it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
