Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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