My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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