***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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