I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
