He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
3 2 1 whiskey
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
