is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
