I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
