Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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