Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
