Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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