I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize