so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
