Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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