Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
