He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
