Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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