there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
