I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
