im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
