he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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