ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
