I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
