dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
