Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
