This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I love having hate sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
