i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
