I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize