Fuck appropriateness.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
