stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
