lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Even my vagina gasped.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
