Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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