He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
