I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
