I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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