i wish my penis had a tongue
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
