its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
