are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
