can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
