The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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