Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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