Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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