So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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