You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize