I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
