I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
