just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
this hospital has no fireball
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
