i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
