So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
