he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
