You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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