what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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