I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
