goodnight i made you a song goodbye
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
