I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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