Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize