I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize