She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
