I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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