i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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