mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
