Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I just put wine in my tea
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize