a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
