we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need a burrito and a hug.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
